slapped in the face

you know in movies when one character is talking all kinds of silliness and starts to freak out, then another character slaps him/her in the face whilst yelling, "snap out of it!"? well i had one of those moments this week. just substitute me for the character talking all sorts of silliness and god for the guy slapping and yelling. let me elaborate...

the fuller center has their first project this saturday and all of us are so excited, but we had to raise $300 in 2 1/2 weeks. now, to us, it did not seem like it would be too hard, but after 2 weeks had past and we only had half the amount we needed, i began to stress. i do this from time to time, not because i was stressed for me, but because i HATE letting others down. the deadline was approaching, and we needed money.

when this group finally got established i actually felt like we could make a difference, like we change something, like we could bring justice where it was lacking. i was sure this is what god wanted for me for the next year of my life, but then we needed money. i began to question why god wouldn't provide the money if this is what he wanted? we are out to make a difference and change communities, but then the fact that we needed money distracted me from trusting this is what god wanted and that he would provide.

later that same day, after spending quite some time stressing about this, one of our team members (bethany) brought in the collection box to put the money with the rest. in that box was around $130...in one day! i didn't realize it at that moment, but it was right then that god slapped me accross the face and told me to wake up.

long story short...we have the money. and not just enough money, but almost 50% more than we set our goal for! it may seem small to some, but for me it was huge. god provides, but too many times i take my eyes off him to make sure i have all my bases covered. god provides, but too many times i want to fix it myself, rather than just trust that god will.

i am still unsure of what will come from this group, but i know that we WILL make a difference.

i don't know how we're going to do it, but we WILL change something for the better.

and in a world lacking in justice, i know that god WILL provide a way bring it here.

there is so much work to do, and we need help...

but god provides.